It’s been a few months of blogging now and it’s starting to make me feel like an insecure kid in my early 20s. Again.
Maybe you know what that’s like? If not, I’ll fill you in.
There are some weeks where you feel like a million bucks. The “beautiful” people have all the time in the world for you. No matter what you say, they’re digging it. At work or school you’re a rock star. You can do no wrong, your ideas are brilliant, your execution flawless. Folks tear up laughing at your jokes. No wrong can be done by you.
Then there are the other days where you could swear you bathed in garlic and that your brain and mouth are horribly out of sync. You can do no right.
This is how it feels with the blog. Some weeks I hit ‘publish’ and the readers flow like lava from a volcano. I’m on fire. The reader numbers tick away faster than I can count ‘em.
Other weeks, it’s crickets. The reader numbers seem to be going in reverse.
What did I do wrong? Why don’t they like me anymore? Why? Why!?
That’s part of the reason why I haven’t hit ‘publish’ for a while on a new blog. There are two other reasons, though.
First is that my bride, Patricia has had a new hurdle thrown at her on her health battle. We’d thought she was on a steady road to recovery when she got a sucker punch. Now she’s facing a few more tough rounds in her fight. She’s gonna win, but damn.
It really pisses me off and I’ve let it mute my words for a while.
The second thing is that my oldest daughter, Kristina, is heading to Toronto for school. It’s unbelievable that the little bundle we brought home from the hospital in what seems like not that long ago is going to be working on a post grad program in the Big Smoke.
What a mix of joy, sadness, excitement and fear. There’s no reason for fear — it’s going to be amazing for her — but she’s lived with me and Patricia all of her life an now…
…Sorry, I needed a moment there, I’m verklemmt!
As I write this, it’s our last day living together as the family that became complete when my youngest, Anna, was born 19 years ago. Very, very weird.
But there is an adventure to be had. We spent yesterday filling a rental truck with all of Kristina’s worldly goods. Tomorrow, she and I will hit the road for Toronto. We’ve got ‘till
Thursday to get there. For all the times I’ve made the flight, I’ve never done this trip by ground.
So to mark the journey – and the experience — I’ll be posting daily Road Blogs.